As you might have read on my Facebook page, I use many gas station bathrooms. Before I had this job, I NEVER used public restrooms.....much less, one in a gas station!
Yesterday, I had to pee so bad, I stopped at the scariest gas station in the middle of nowhere.
The location didn't scare me....
The 6 inbred, toothless, nasty dudes that came in the door behind me did not scare me.....
I was fearing the bathroom I might encounter!
In fact my co-worker's encouraging last words to me as I got out of the car were
"there is probably poop smeared all over the walls".
I walked to one corner of the tiny store. I saw a door marked MEN and a door marked KEEP OUT. Fearing that I might have to use the men's restroom, I tried the other corner of the store. I crawled behind stacks of beer and found a strange, tiny door marked WOMEN.
I squeezed by the beer stock and popped out in front of an old Jam box that was blaring Blue Oyster Cult's, FEAR THE REAPER.
Great song....bad timing!
I felt like I had stepped right into a Criminal Minds episode....
I cautiously opened the door, and found a SPECTACULARLY CLEAN bathroom!
It was great!
I did the Mary Tyler Moore "throw my hat in the air spin" out of complete joy.
As I spun toward the toilet, I noticed several strategically placed, quarter sized holes drilled into the wall. I didn't see any flashing red light, but I did notice it definitely led into a dark room.
My first thought was "crap, this bathroom is clean because they just bleached from the last video taped murder"
My second thought was "hmmm, maybe the video taping perv is a woman....because I haven't met a male perv that could clean a bathroom this great!"
I stuffed each hole with toilet paper, then quick did my business and left before it turned into another crime scene.
But most importantly, I said a quick praise prayer "thank you, that if I am to die a horrible video taped death in a gas station bathroom....it SPECTACULARLY CLEAN....amen"
My co worker, someone that most people might have been comforted to have as protection, sat in the car until I appeared germ free, unharmed and all 6 scary dudes left in their truck.....
THEN they went into the station.
Much to my dismay, I left my phone/camera in the car.....no pics for the story....