As I have written before, I hate to cry. I hate emotion. However, stress makes me tearful, anger makes me tearful, lack of sleep makes me tearful....
If you know me- angry, stressed out, sleep deprived- me, then you know that I tune up to cry a lot:
Awkward facial expression
When the moment hits just right, and I can't hold the emotion anymore, I cry uncontrollably....and unstoppable.
Jeff is used to it, and as I have noted before, he asks me once if I am ok. When I say yes, he lets me cry like a baby and he gabs on about news or sports. I like the fact that he lets me be.
Today was a stressful day, only because I am stressful.
Things were frustrating-
Things went wrong-
The last few hours of work, I fought back tears. Tired. Frustrated.
I finally arrived home, gathered all my loose odds and ends out of my car and piled them haphazardly in my arms.
I reached out to put the keys in the door and.........
Let me back up about 10 years....
My sons went to a wonderful public school for 3 years and during that time, the art teacher would take their art and put it on a mug. I have kept these mugs as prized possessions for years, never using them. This year, I decided "what is the use? I want to enjoy them!"
This morning I pour my coffee in one of Jack's and head out to work. When I got to the office, I thought "hmmmmm, I would be devastated if something happened to this mug!" I left it in the car.
..........so I reached out to put the keys in the door and something slipped out of my arms.
I looked down to see my treasured mug bouncing across the porch.
Max opened the front door for me and he was welcomed with...
"Whaaaaa. I broke the mug. Whaaaaa."
I looked at his face, as mine shrunk up, reddened and released huge crocodile tears.
I loudly and uncontrollably cried like a baby. Max laughed and then hugged me and then cautiously laughed and then helped me....
All the time with an amused but worried look set in his face.
I kept crying exactly like this baby girl.
And actually, I do believe my hair was clipped back just like this two year old!
Max gathered the pieces and told me he would fix it. "Everything will be ok"
I boo hooed
I cried some more
I told him I was sorry. I was tired and could not stop.
He smiled and gave an unsettled laugh,
"I just can't tell if you are crying or faking or laughing"
We laughed and I told him how Jeff has always handled it.
"Well, I will talk about something."
A commercial for Beauty and the Beast came on...
I asked Max if he had seen that disney movie and his response made me laugh, and ended my stress release crying:
"Yes. it's that girl that becomes his slave and then she decides to love him. It's a Disney version of what I understand 50 Shades Of Grey to be."