This post is not addressing clinical depression, anxiety depression, or any other depression that individuals suffer.
I am addressing depression, in general.
A little black rain cloud....
I can't stand it!
It starts with a thought...
"I am overwhelmed"
Followed with an inner voice...
"You do many things, but you don't do any of them well."
And then I am possessed physically
I can't do depression, in general.
I need to be content.
After a week of spiraling back into bad eating habits and pity parties...
After two days of skipping the alarm and dreading facing my day....
I decided to get my crap together.
Drank lots of water
Peed a lot
Smiled and joked a lot (not hard to do with the knuckleheads I work with)
Driving with the window down and singing like a diva (sorry Rosemark, Brighton, and Atoka)
And went swimming!!!
However, I only look and swim like Esther Williams, in my own brain fantasy.
Tonight, a 3 gold medalist Olympic swimmer asked to share my lane. I nodded as I hung on the side of the pool gasping for breath after a 5 minute lap.
"Do you want to stay on that side or shall we swim circles?"
My uncontrolled breathing forced me to over laugh at her absurd question.
"I.....stay....." I finished my sentence by motioning to my side of the lane.
As she dove in, I pushed off the side to begin my second lap.
As I turn my head to breathe, I see her swimming towards me.
She swam 2 laps to my 2 strokes.
1/2 an hour later, we meet back up on the side of the pool.
She was drinking from her water bottle, I was trying to re-inflate my lungs.
She speaks again, "are you just beginning swimming?"
I just nodded my head. Why try to explain that.......I am not athletic.
She gives me a sweet smile and questions, "rehabilitation?"
OY! The YMCA where I swim has several rehab patients and their therapists in the pool every evening, strengthening their body after injury.
Well, why not...I am in constant life rehab....
"Yes" I sigh, and turn to swim another lap, but not before I catch her 'you can do it' look.
I wonder what awful injury she thinks I sustained to cause my wacked out swim technique.