Little known fact:
Nashville is actually at 75,000 ft altitude, which causes thighs to become immovable.
Tonight's humidity weighed 17.4 tons, soaking wet.
I need bungee cords for my hair, next humid run.
But each evening run has been beautiful. I took my phone tonight so I could share what I look forward to at the end of my day.
This poop hole pond is an awesome sight!! But smells like poop.
I worked with this guy in high school. One time I couldn't hold back my opinion and I said, "you have beautiful blue eyes"
He said, "your eyes are the color of catfish pond scum......you know, green and brown"
Believe it or not, he is still alive.
I ran by these guys and ran right through their poop trap on the sidewallk.
Randall thought it was hilarious, and when I ran back by, he followed me for awhile....flapping and honking......"run poopy shoes, run"
I have been teaching my sons......well, since birth....
AND I have been homeschooling them for 6 1/2 years.
As with most students, finding out what they truly have retained is like running in sand:
After finishing a great, visual, auditory, and tactile lesson, I ask
"So what year did this take place?"
"I don't know"
"Well, what was the purpose?"
"I don't know"
"Tell me the steps they took"
"uh, well....I can't remember all of them"
I gladly spend my free-time planning and re-planning to suit their educational needs. I figure I will get an extra smiley face in teacher heaven.
Two weeks ago, on a short car trip around town, Max got bored in the backseat and started reading the OSHA manual.
It was actually quite entertaining hearing him read, in a very animated voice, the regulations on floor holes....or as he read it FLO HOES.
Two long weeks after he read this information, I pick him up from a week long mission trip. He is telling me about serving in a mission house.
"....and mom, they weren't obeying the rules on floor holes. They had open holes in the floor that didn't have covers, or barricades, or guardrails."
This from the kid that can't retain my repetitive lecture on
"when you take your socks off, don't just toss them, take them to the laundry room"
complete with "repeat what I said", "now show me"
But apparently I need to say
It shall be unlawful to place, or cause, or permit to be placed, on any floor or roof or wall or other structure, haphazardly tossed sock(s).
To facilitate cleaning, every floor, working place, passageway, areas of comfy sitting, and storage of random outdoor items shall be kept free from freely tossed sock(s).
So I guess Max's learning style is how the OSHA manual is written.......ACHHH, I refuse to write my lessons like federal regulations.
We went to view an exhibit on the University of Memphis campus. As we walked by the psychology building, Jeff pointed to a window and said, "do you remember that window?".
I racked my brain. I took quite a few psychology classes (should have gone for a minor) but I wasn't sure what HE would have known about my psych classes.....
Then the memory came back! One day, in my 8AM abnormal psychology class, I was sitting in my regular seat by the window. Half way through the class, I looked out the window. There was a paper taped to the outside. I leaned over to get a closer look and recognized Jeff's signature.......fish.....
I love you infinity (Jeff)
Jeff taped it to the window the night before my class!
Remembering this, I joked all day how this was his one and only attempt at being romantic.
I don't keep things, but I hoped I had kept this note. I found it in a secret drawer of a wooden chest Jeff made me when we were dating......along with
46 other notes!!!
I truly had forgotten ALL of this. I found over 30 notes that he had left on my car for me to find after class.
One of my favorites was one I obviously scored when we first became friends.....
That's right! I got HIS digits!!
Several made me laugh. I have always been high strung and put my ALL into work/studying. So Jeff knew from the start about my STRESS!
Sorry it is blurry, but it says "I hope you did well on exams, but if you didn't, don't STRESS"
ALL of the notes said something about "Margaret, the beautiful"......WHO was that?
(when he says this now, I say "you have to say that, I'm all you can have")
Finding this note cracked me up. He wrote it on my DAD'S work stationary!
It seems like it has always been US.....I don't remember the dating.
Today, I entered the dressing room at a local department store. I prepared myself to only "glance" in the mirrors that lined the walls. I only needed to make sure that secrets were covered as I begrudgingly took on the task of choosing a swimsuit for our August beach trip. I did not need to go into an emotional breakdown over a swimsuit.
My eyes are still swollen from an emotional breakdown 2 days ago. For someone who hates emotion and crying, I do it well.
I was so tired Wednesday from lack of sleep that when I got home from work, I fell on the bed and cried the snotty, gasping for breath, ugly cry. It lasted for almost 2 hours. Ridiculous!
Jeff knows this is how I ultimately handle stuffing my emotions, so he patted me on the back and told me all about a TV show he started watching. He spoke louder the louder I cried.
Back in today's dressing room, I chose several different types of suits. One was designed to flatter my femaleness but after I stuffed myself into it, I cut my eyes at the mirror and felt like my body had turned into a cartoon:
Still tired, I fought back tears as I reached for another suit. It was supposed to hide unwanted curves with slimming lines...
I cut my eyes at the wall of mirrors and realized vertical lines are not ALWAYS better!
Trying to convince myself that I look fine, just not made for clothes, I tried the next bathing suit. I KNEW it was going to work! The tag even said so!
"tummy control, instant slimming"
It was black, which I feel is easier to disappear into a hole.....a black hole....out of sight!
I moved the tourniquet over my thighs and tucked my body into this magic black cloth.....
much like you would tuck a long shirt into your pants. After minutes, the suit snapped onto my body with a loud "cracking the whip" sound that echoed through the fitting room.
Before I looked into the mirror, I made the decision that if this suit looked great, I would gladly wet myself at the beach....because there was no way I was going to put that suit on more than once a day!
I slowly turned to face the mirror. The tag did not tell a lie! My tummy was slim!
However, it had pushed the extra body down and out to my thighs...up and out my chest....back and around and out between straps.....
Disgusted and fighting back emotion, I stretched with all my might to remove the slimming suit.
What the tag did not advertise was the fact that in the event of removal, you will be turned into a human slingshot/catapult.
I shielded my eyes from the wall of mirrors, pulled the straps out and launched myself out of the suit.
I shot across the dressing cubicle and into the thin wall. The force knocked the square room out of whack and the walls began to fall like dominoes.
Thankfully, all of us ladies were about the same body type and trying on bathing suits. Giggling erupted and requests "are you okay?" rippled down the 9 temporarily unhinged walled rooms. I started laughing uncontrollably which led to uncontrolled cry/laughing.
Most people that witness this emotional act feel a need to send me straight to emergency therapy!
I quickly got dressed, gathered my wallet and keys, apologized profusely and tried to escape.
Dressing Room Attendant picks up my credit card and my business card, "is this yours?"
I grabbed my credit card "yes! thank you!"
I looked at my business card with "GREEN & SAFE" screaming out to everyone. I thought about the unsafe demolition I had just caused.....
"This isn't mine, but I'll take it"