Not every day is the same........
but every day, I learn something new and I get a chance to appreciate smart, beautiful creation.
Most of my days begin with mysterious and thrilling mornings and I do not waste the view.
I get a thrill from crop dusters flying low over my path, thousands of birds migrating across, in, and on my path.....
I let my thoughts wander as awesome weather fronts roll over me.
I look forward to the train that may race my car........
I found a field that is perfect to take a break and, depending on the season, enjoy rain, a warm or cool breeze, or even "tornado producing" clouds.
I hope to soon enjoy a sunrise in this field!
I used to dream of a cabin in the mountains. cold, snowy...
I now dream of a tiny house in a field, a warm breeze, a drink and a good book, in a hammock...watching the sky
As my boys get closer to the dating years, I try to tell them what girls MIGHT be like.....
because I clearly am not the norm...
In first grade. I had a crush on this red head boy named David. Every time we drove by his house, I would say "there's David's house". At recess, he would play with cars in the dirt under the pine trees. I would sit nearby (like a stalker) and watch the dried ketchup flake off his face when he would wipe his runny nose with his sleeve. One day, David gave me a plastic ring that he got at the doctor the day before.....
that embarrassed me.
That was the end of David.
From second to sixth grade, I had a boyfriend that wore tough skin jeans, cowboy boots and a big belt buckle. Jeremy never talked to me.
In sixth grade, he yelled across the lunch room that I had cutie curls....
Not cootie curls (that might have actually saved our relationship), he yelled CUTIE curls and wore a weird smile that said "you are cute". I picked up my bologna and frisbeed it at him. The teacher said I was done with lunch for the day and must go back to the classroom.
I'll tell you what I was done with
In seventh grade, we had boy/girl gym class. My good friend, Mike, and I always teamed up for all the activities. He was so much fun.
One day we were sitting on the bleachers and he told our friends the two of us were going to the black/gold (our school colors) dance.
I punched him in the shoulder and gave him a dirty look.
That was the end of a fun gym class.
When I was in high school, I went to the movies ONCE with this guy. He ruined the movie because he kept staring at me. It was a freakin good action movie!
I went to dinner ONCE with this other guy. When he took me home, he walked me to the door. He leaned in for a kiss and I quickly moved. He rang the doorbell and my dad opened the door.....made me laugh.
Thank goodness Jeff was a smart guy. He knew how to get me!
I guess my boys are as smart as their dad. They will know what to do to get their girl!
Wednesday, I was a little "off".
Not my usual super self....
When 5:30 finally rolled around, I headed to church. In a zombie-like state, I went through the motions of dinner and then helped wrap some buckets with paper (preparation for an upcoming conference).
7:30 slowly made the clock and I headed to a parent/teen meeting. As I sat in the meeting, I felt everything drain completely out of me. I had driven separate from the family, so I whispered to Jeff that I needed to go home.
I had my 70 pound backpack thrown over one shoulder and started down the 75 step staircase. On about the 3rd step, the backpack popped off my shoulder and landed in the crook of my arm. The force brought me down....down....down all 182 steps...one bounce at a time.
I sat up at the bottom, unwrapped my leg from around my neck and propped my back up against the wall.
I am not sure how long I sat there. Here was my thought process.
"I hope nobody saw that." As far as I knew, I was the only one NOT in the meeting. PHEW
"I'll just crumple right here until Jeff comes out of the meeting and then he can get me to the car."
"nope, I am sure the teens will come out before Jeff.....I am sure ANYONE will come into view before Jeff."
"oh crap, I hope I'm not on the security camera."
I have no idea how I made it to the car, home and into the shower.....crawled under a blanket in the rocking chair, went to sleep.
Then, Thursday came!
By 9:30AM, I was positive I had broken the right ass cheek.
Please forgive me if you have heard this story before but I write what is on my mind...for me....and allow you to watch....or listen.....um, read.
This morning, when I should have been listening to the riveting information on Electrical Safety, I was time traveling back to 1989.
I hated high school. You can imagine that my personality and looks did not go over well with thousands of preps. What should a 16 year old girl do to feel better about herself?
I KNOW! How about getting braces the summer before your senior year! YAYYYYYY!
(yes, you mathematicians...that means I was 17 in college...I keep telling ya'll I'm a genius!)
Why was I thinking about my miserable years of high school this morning during electrical safety?
Because that is when I found my second special talent (the first, of course, is singing the alphabet backwards).
One day, I was doing chores around the house. I turned off the TV, turned on the music and "dance dusted" the house. I found some tinsel (those icicle strand thingys) left over from Christmas. I put one of the ends in my mouth and gently blew. The tinsel waved out in front of my face. This was strangely entertaining, so I thread it through my braces and continued to dust.
We had a futuristic TV set so low to the floor, that we (me and my brothers) had to lay on our bellys to watch our favorite shows....
All alone in the house, I was dusting the TV. As I got close to the screen, the tinsel magically stuck straight out in front of my face. Thinking that I finally got my "Samantha/bewitched/I dream of jeanie" wish for magic, I could not wait to show the family.
The next day, with a house full of family and my sister's in-laws, I prepared to dazzle them.
I stuck the tinsel in my braces, I knelt in front of the TV. Today, it was on for football viewing.
"Watch this! I can do something really cool."
"Margaret, we are trying to watch the game!"
"I know, it won't take long!"
I crawl up to the screen. Nothing. I move forward inches more. The tinsel extends horizontally in front of my face......move forward a tiny bit...
I fly back from the TV, my world is black, my heart hurts. Tinsel shriveled and smoking.
I am startled and scared that I blew my heart out. I look around. My brothers-in-law are laughing.
I look behind me.
My dad has a disgusted, disapproving look on his face.
"you could have blown out the TV"
Yesterday, I met a guy that was proud to tell me he was from Trinidad. I usually relate to guys better than girls, but there are some guys that you cant have a normal conversation with........
I noticed that this guy was really wanting me to think he was great. yuck.
I was stuck sitting beside him for 8 hours. It was pure torture to politely laugh at his not-so-funny humor, smile everytime he looked at me (which was a lot), and to pretend to be interested in what he was saying.
I really wanted to roll my eyes, tell him to get a life, MOVE ACROSS THE ROOM.
Today, I knew I would be in an even smaller space with this man. I positioned myself where NOBODY could sit by me. One look at me should say "I dont like to be near people" but in a nice, professional way....of course!
Trinidad walked into the room and rearranged tables and chairs to sit right next to me......great...
"Im from Trinidad, remember me?"
"I remember.".....crap, here comes my polite smile....not going to make it the next 4 hours, Im burning up, have a headache and feel the need to spew my opinion of this guy to his face.
He touches my wedding ring "hey, you werent wearing a wedding ring yesterday."
I restrain myself from punching him. "I know, I don't always wear it."
"I was going to ask you to come to Trinindad with me."
"hmmm, I don't think so."
"what? We would have fu..un..." (sing song voice)
"Isn't it in the tropics?"
"YES! It is beautiful!"
"yea, that doesn't sound appealing to me."
"You would love it!"
"I really don't think my husband and I would like it. We like cooler weather."
"I wasn't inviting your husband."
At this point, several of his female coworkers start laughing.
"Trinidad, we told you she was married!"
They turn to me. "Don't listen to him, he is crazy!"
I had been playfully harassing some other people in the class, so I used my humor to steer the conversation in a different direction AND I moved further back into the corner.
At this point I was sitting under the heat and began to burn from the inside out. After about an hour of feeling like I was in an oven, I ripped off my fleece pull-over.
Trinidad turned around and smiled. I wanted to pull my turtle neck over my head and disappear, but instead I said,
"If you don't pay attention, you are going to have to write a 500 word essay to get your certification instead of the quiz."
This just made him grin more.....and add a wink.
I am driving myself (and others) crazy with texting. If I am not saying inappropriate or outlandish things due to auto-correct, then I am sending texts to wrong people. I SWEAR when I look at the name it is correct, but when I push send...somehow I have texted to the wrong person. This has caused some unfortunate information getting to the wrong people. I am having to erase all my texting threads several times a day.
AM I THE ONLY ONE WITH TEXTING DISABILITY?
I'm not sure if the problem is the tongue or the brain....or both together!
Once I finally decide to let loose and talk to someone, I say the worst thing possible for that individual person:
"well, I mean, there really isn't a good politician. if you are in politics, there is something shady about you."
"My dad is a politician."
(of course he is...)
blah blah blah".....it is funny because he is so crazy! off his meds!"
"I have been diagnosed with blah blah"
(of course you have....)
"She is really odd.....you know, like one of those that treats her dog like it is her baby!"
I go into the next room and there are 27 professionally taken pictures of this person's dog dressed up like a dang child!
Please just let MAZ stay away from ANY conversation!
In a recent "sermon", the teacher used an analogy that I cannot get out of my head.
If you see someone's house burning down, you don't stand back and say "mmm hmmm, I knew that would happen because they....."
You would scream "your house is burning! get out!"
This was in reference to Christians continuing in sin and fellow Christians stopping them without judgement.
The problem is that most sin is not as scary as a burning house.
Sin can be exciting, a thrill, and sometimes a comfort. Most of the time, we can rationalize the reasons for our sin.
Some of us have a small trash can fire. Some of us have a multiple alarm fire.
The teacher used another picture of God taking us by the hand, like a parent. He pulls us away from danger, covers our eyes as we continue to look back at the sin, and grasps firmly to our hand to keep us with Him.
It continues to blow my mind that He would even bother to keep turning us back to him when we continue to choose other "delights" instead of Him!
I have a hard time with the fact that God CHOSE to love us. He loves us because He loves us. Not because of what we do, who we are, what we look like, or even what WE choose to love.
I parked in the back of the church parking lot waiting on my oldest son. All parents were waiting in their cars close to the building, hiding behind the glow of their cell phones.
I started chomping a piece of gum and turned on the radio. My current favorite song began to play. I noticed that I was very far from everyone so I turned the volume way up. As always, I could not keep control of myself. I began to sing and do the small car dance. The thrill this song gives me totally took over my brain and I slipped into MAZ's world.
I knocked tiny Taylor Swift off the stage, breaking her in half. I grabbed the mic, turned to face the screaming crowd and rocked out:
"I knew you were trouble when you walked in..."
I broke out into a 1/2 robot, 1/2 slow mo dance (my signature moves).
I flipped my head to the side. The mic disappeared. The crowd disappeared.
Back to reality. A man I know was at my window. He gave me the point/wave move as he walked by the car.
Apparently, the dark does NOT make you invisible.
I'm sitting in a packed waiting room near the Memphis Airport.
I am positioned in the back and underneath the TV.
The morning news is reporting an assault somewhere in Memphis. I am not listening until I hear some redneck lady say "white women just don't feel comfortable in Memphis anymore!"
I don't look up from the computer but my mind wanders to what is being reported. I immediately think "what a stupid thing to say.....why do they always interview the ignorant people?"
She continues to speak while I am typing: "Memphis is dangerous! White women are not safe by themselves!"
At this point, I start to recall the waiting room when I walked in.....no women......no whites.....but packed!
She ends with: "I don't know of one white woman that doesn't feel this way!"
I get a weird sensation, like someone is staring at me. I look up. Every single person....man.....none of them white....was looking at me.
If I had thought about it, I might should have just gone back to my typing, but since I respond, speak, react without thinking......
I shrugged my shoulders and said "well, I don't have a problem." Then looked back at my computer. Laughter rippled through the room. I looked up and they were all smiling at me.
Well, one wasn't.... but with all the shaking and scratching, I am assuming he did not know what was going on anyway!