If you haven't read my ClassicMaz blog from the beginning, then you probably don't know WHY it is named CLASSICMAZ. There was a SNL skit with Justin Timberlake as Classic Peg.
Peg would tell stories about how awkward things happened to her, or how she caused accidents and end the story with "Classic Peg".
I, too, am awkward and cause problems........ending a situation with "Classic MAZ" ringing in my head.
Like this morning...
I was dropping off my youngest at church. I sat in the car to finish posting a picture on instagram. I look up as a car is backing up and coming to a stop right in front of my car (about 5 feet away). The guy looks like my friend's husband, but not. I look back down. I look back up and he is grinning. I throw a stupid "stick your face out and grin big" right back at him and he rolls his window down. All this time I'm thinking, "something is different about SP".
I roll my window down and realize, by the way we are parked, I won't be able to hear whatever he says...so I open my door to get out of my car. As I'm closing the door, his gaze seems to be slightly behind me as he says "what are you doing?" I prepare to say something witty as a lady walks from behind me toward his car.
Oh My Word......He IS NOT my friend's husband AND he IS NOT smiling/talking to me. I am so close to this interaction that I can't just get back into my car like an idiot.....
So I go into the gym, where my oldest son is working the desk. I am sure he is not happy that I have come to see him at work. I make up 2 random questions and then walk back to my car and FLEE!
(BY THE WAY, my friend's husband is a good friend of mine and there is no reason why I should not have been aware that this wasn't him........sheesh)
I am at a work seminar by myself. I am surrounded by nice dressed men and women of the business world, which means I am feeling VERY out of place. My table fills up.....thank goodness, because I was by myself and fearing that it was going to be high school ALL OVER AGAIN...
It would have been much better to stay ALONE because after my table filled up, a man asked if he could join us. I found this odd because he had to pull a chair away from another table to squeeze in with us.
After getting situated, he asked me "what was your maiden name?"
I told him and he loudly proclaims to the table "yes, we went out in college!"
Everyone looked at me. this guy has on a western style dress shirt with the pearl buttons and khakis that have western stitching ON THE SIDES.
My first and natural response was to say "...ha ha ha...whatever! I don't think so!" But I was not there as MAZ.....I was there as someone's employee....so I tried to think of a "professional" reply.....
Before I could speak, he continued, "we had History together, my freshmen year of college. this girl was hilarious! I took her to a party.....a mixer.....she was a riot! she had everyone in tears, laughing."
the table looks at me again.
I politely smile as my brain is scanning memories to see if I remembered any of what he was talking about. I looked at everyone's faces and developed a sudden urge to just slide out of my chair and under the table.
THEN it hit me:
I remember this guy. I DID have history with him. He saved me a seat everyday and told me stories of how he was a rodeo bull rider. at the age of 18, he had a fake hip.
I did remember the mixer. BUT I remember him asking "are you going?"
I said "yes"
I saw him at the mixer.
I dont remember being funny, so maybe he had been drinking. I don't even remember talking to him AT ALL. Not sure how he got "we went out" from that mixer.....
Back to the table,
as everyone is staring at me waiting for my response.....and probably waiting for a funny one, to put them in tears
I smiled. I stretched out my hand to get a drink of coffee....stalling. But instead of gracefully taking the coffee mug...
I spilled the guys water......and then the host rose from my table and walked to the podium to begin introducing the guest speaker......