In an effort to mail letters for work, I stopped at the post office (after hours) to quickly buy stamps and deposit the letters.
I walked into the lobby and an eclectic looking lady was staring at a corner. I ignored the weirdness and approach the stamp kiosk. I read the book of information on the screen.
"YOU CANT MAIL ANYTHING........POSTAL CLOSED!"
I slowly turn, preparing myself for a banshee with a hatchet.
"I'm just buying stamps", I reply to the wire-haired lady with bright. red-framed spectacles.
I look her over as I think.....crap, that is me in 20 years.....except the floral print moo moo dress (hopefully).
I look outside for the "caregiver" that obviously lost a patient........no one.
"yes, I can buy them from this machine. It's ok."
I turn back and hope that I have selected the right stamp.....why are there so many different stamps? I just wanted it to say 'stamps for letters'.
Moo Moo: "AHHHHHHHHH!"
then she whispers to invisible person
"dont give her a receipt"
I turn sideways so I can keep an eye on Moo Moo AND continue navigating the too-much-info-to-choose-from stamp machine. Choose, swipe my card, and wait on the receipt.
The lady leaves the building. I turn around and the screen reads
"printer out of order, no receipt" CURSES!
Moo Moo Voo Doo
I turn back around and an old man has entered. He is staring at the locked door with a big sign that reads "Closed Saturday and Sunday"
"EXCUSE ME, DO YOU THINK THEY WILL BE OPEN TOMORROW?"
why is everyone yelling?
I stare a few seconds at this man......I look in the parking lot for the weirdoville van that is letting their citizens off one at a time.
I point to the sign, "They will not be open on Saturday."
"WHERE IS ANOTHER POST OFFICE?"
I point in the appropriate direction for my next statement. "There is one behind the Huey's Restaurant."
The man leans way too far into my personal space..
"JULIE? I DONT KNOW JULIE!" He turned as if he were going to leave.
The lobby suddenly became incredibly small, hot, and depleted of oxygen.....
As I planned my escape route and timing.....the man looked at me...just like this